It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict.

I wish I had played team sports. I think every kid should. Teamwork builds character - teaches people about leadership and cooperation.

One Christmas my father kept our tree up till March. He hated to see it go. I loved that.

I love Christmas. Frosty the Snowman, peace on Earth and mangers, Salvation Army bell ringers and reindeer, the movie 'Meet Me in St. Louis,' office parties and cookies.

Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously.

Homemade sweaters are always itchy.

Hypocrisy is great fodder for comedy.

I know a lot about a few things - mostly useless things.

Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness.

One could say, that #‎ Masons were raised right.

I'm in fact a hair under six feet, but I'm very svelte. People would never see me if I turned sideways.

But beauty, real beauty, ends where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face.

Seriously, ” the banker went on, “what do you investigate? I have a feeling you do more than find stray kittens and bring home lost babies.”“Murder.

Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.

Followers of another political party tell us that we will strengthen ourselves by ignoring our history, our traditions, our mythologies, our culture and vision, and by following the American way.

Now there's a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long?

My mom used to tell me: It's not what you weigh; it's what you look like.

Those who suppress freedom always do so in the name of law and order.

If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.

When a child grows up without a father, there is an empty place where someone must stand, providing an example of character and confidence.

Well over fifty years ago I was making radio loudspeakers and radio sets in Rochester, New York; pretty young and inexperienced; but we survived the depression.