In 'Futurama,' the skin color is no longer yellow. They have actually evolved to cartoon skin tone. But they still have four fingers.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

Only a few have learned to savor the significance of solitude. Those who can glory in being alone on occasion are the saint or poet or explorer.

Better to learn wisdom from other people's misfortunes than from your own.

Most of the heroes we remember we remember only because they won. To win you must be ruthless. Single-minded ... which was why he had no friends just admirers.

Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul.

AMC is a fantastic network that does diverse programming, and does it at a really good level and of great quality.

God made certain people to play football. He was one of them.

The Women of the Storm made a big difference for me, because it really put some real-life faces with the situation, and not just politicians.

Don't be shy about making a teacher of any willing party who knows what he or she is doing.

Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.

One or two of these scoundrel statesmen should be shot once a-year, just to keep the others on their good behavior.