You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

One who never reads only goes where his feet can take him, but one who does, travels around the world.

There is no wrong answer. Even so, it is easy to receive wrong results, simply by asking the wrong question.

Were it not for imagination a man would be as happy in arms of a chambermaid as of a duchess.

Adults who think that children must be manipulated for their own good have developed the attitude of a controlling parent who lacks faith in himself, the child, or humanity or himself.

To God your every Want In instant Prayer display, Pray always; Pray, and never faint; Pray, without ceasing, Pray.

You beat a woman and drag her down a flight of stairs.

Every cell in your body is eavesdropping on your thoughts.

You need to feed yourself with emotions and life or youll become empty.

I don't care if what we do makes a profit; I care whether we get somebody out of a wheelchair.

Take hints from other women in the office. We are very fortunate to be in a generation where there are a lot of older women in the office. Take a look at what they're wearing.