If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

The more thoroughly a person understands life, the less he will mock, though in the end he might still mock the "thoroughness of his understanding.

It will take time to restore chaos

In any case, you must remember, my dearest, that the main strength of innocence is innocence itself. farewell.

Let us watch well our beginnings and results will manage themselves.

Old-fashioned ways which no longer apply to changed conditions are a snare in which the feet of women have always become readily entangled.

My style philosophy is: Be comfortable.

I...am always glad to touch the living rock again and dip my hand in the high mountain air.

The magnetic cleavage of the spectral lines is dependent on the size of the charge of the electron, or, more accurately, on the ratio between the mass and the charge of the electron.

the path of goodness had a name it is called Love in it we find the key to every hope and has it's root in God Himself

My best friend is the only person in the world who could stop me from crying.