If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Girls can wear jeans, cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, 'cause it's okay to be a boy, but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading.

Social satire has been around since people have been around.

Poe was a student of many things, and among those things he read and referred to in his work was the Bible.

The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a childminder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator.

everyone old enough to have a secret is entitled to have some place to keep it.

If drink sales are falling off, we get the pilots to engineer a bit of turbulence. That usually spikes sales.

The road to revolution involves openness to the people, not imperviousness to them; it involves communion with the people, not mistrust.

Our world is facing a refugee crisis of a magnitude not seen since the Second World War. This presents us with great challenges and many hard decisions.

In the Mexican repertoire there's a lot of super delicious things you can do with vegetables and beans and grains and all that sort of stuff. So I can do this thing.

Pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly.