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Robert Orben Quotes

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Robert Orben Quotes: "Have you noticed when you go on a diet the first thing you lose is your temper."

Have you noticed when you go on a diet the first thing you lose is your temper.




Robert Orben Quotes: "I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself."

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch."

Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.



Robert Orben Quotes: "I take my children everywhere but they always find their way back home."

I take my children everywhere but they always find their way back home.




Robert Orben Quotes: "To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so."

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Did you ever see that painting the Mona Lisa. It always reminds me of a reporter listening to a politician."

Did you ever see that painting the Mona Lisa. It always reminds me of a reporter listening to a politician.



Robert Orben Quotes: "I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left."

I had a terrible fight with my wife on New Year's Eve. She called me a procrastinator. So I finished addressing the Christmas cards and left.




Robert Orben Quotes: "I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.



Robert Orben Quotes: "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Planned obsolescence isn't a new idea - God always used it with people."

Planned obsolescence isn't a new idea - God always used it with people.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.



Robert Orben Quotes: "New Yorkers are so impersonal if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all!"

New Yorkers are so impersonal if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all!




Robert Orben Quotes: "Quit worrying about your health. It will go away."

Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator."

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.



Robert Orben Quotes: "My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age."

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?"

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?



Robert Orben Quotes: "Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down."

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator."

Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years."

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.



Robert Orben Quotes: "I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff."

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there I go to work."

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there I go to work.



Robert Orben Quotes: "President Ford used humor a great deal."

President Ford used humor a great deal.



Robert Orben Quotes: "It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise."

It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you want a raise.



Robert Orben Quotes: "We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories."

We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Cheap? If he was at the Last Supper he would have asked for separate checks!"

Cheap? If he was at the Last Supper he would have asked for separate checks!



Robert Orben Quotes: "It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years."

It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.



Robert Orben Quotes: "I don't want to say anything about my kids . . . but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!"

I don't want to say anything about my kids . . . but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!



Robert Orben Quotes: "Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards."

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.



Robert Orben Quotes: "There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers."

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.



Robert Orben Quotes: "I may be forty but every morning when I get up I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately there's never one around."

I may be forty but every morning when I get up I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately there's never one around.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.



Robert Orben Quotes: "What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?"

What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?



Robert Orben Quotes: "I don't see why religion and science can't get along. What's wrong with counting our blessings with a computer?"

I don't see why religion and science can't get along. What's wrong with counting our blessings with a computer?



Robert Orben Quotes: "Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals."

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.



Robert Orben Quotes: "A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.



Robert Orben Quotes: "Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian."

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.



Robert Orben Quotes: ""Wait'll next year!" is the favorite cry of baseball fans football fans hockey fans and gardeners."

"Wait'll next year!" is the favorite cry of baseball fans football fans hockey fans and gardeners.



Robert Orben Quotes: "A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success."

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success.