David Walliams Quotes

I'm terribly attention-seeking. It's very different once you get all this attention, though. Because then you want to control it. And you can't exactly.

I was quite fat as a kid. And swimming is a sport you can enjoy whatever size you are. If you're fat, running is a pain. I'm not really built for running.

All you can do in this life is follow your dreams. Otherwise you're just wasting your time.

A bully can only make you feel bad about yourself if you let them.

I thrive off the company of others, I love being sociable.

I was the kind of person who got bullied and loved the attention of it.

I've just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired.

People think writing a children's book is something you could do in an afternoon but it's actually really hard.

Children's books are often seen as the poor relation of literature. But children are just as demanding as adult readers, if not more so. I should know. I'm a children's writer myself.

I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines.

I am a huge fan of 'Doctor Who.'

It was impossible to sleep. Anxiety stopped me from falling asleep; depression woke me up.

I think all those rules are boring. About what people can and can't wear. Surely everyone should be able to wear whatever they like?

I would recommend that anyone who wants to do comedy on TV to do radio first.

It's strange how sometimes you can be so happy it goes all the way round to sadness.

Sometimes you meet people who can't swim. And I always think: 'Oh my God, that's extraordinary.' For me, it's always been a treat I just feel really happy in the water.

We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.

I just want to be happy, have kids, enjoy my life, help others and create some good work.

I have a pathological fear of being on my own. When I'm with my own thoughts, I start to unravel myself, and I start to think really dark thoughts, self-destructive thoughts.

All human life can be found in an airport.

I don't get recognized much, and am very happy with that. The fans I have met have all been delightful.

There's something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process.

I know somebody from university who's called Phil Collins, and I think there's something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name with somebody who either is famous or becomes famous.

Reality always outstrips fiction. Whatever you make up, something more incredible always pops up in real life.

It was very exciting to see Alan Sugar, so I think I've peaked with excitement for the evening, because I'm a massive Apprentice fan.

We've got 12-year-old boys dressing up as transvestites.

TV has lost a lot of its self-confidence as its power has been eroded by the internet.

I haven't traditionally been a family entertainer.

I don't have a lot to share with other men. My heart sinks when I get into a taxi and someone starts talking to me about football.

I'm not a political thinker, but I've just always thought of myself as a Labour supporter. I was a great fan of Tony Blair. He sent me a letter before I swam the Channel to wish me luck.

We sort of expect to see men in women's clothes. It's part of our culture. The key thing is, it has to be done quite badly.

Ricky Gervais would have you believe otherwise, but Sacha Baron Cohen is the most successful British comedian in the world.

I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it.

I have always liked shows that have laughter in them.

No more watching that show Small England or whatever it's called where those two idiots dress up as 'laydees'. It's a bad influence.

I can't see why anyone would want to be in politics because you get so much criticism.

I haven't put much effort into my personal life and blithely believe it will turn out all right in the end.

I don't know what I'll be like when I'm 60. I already have the traits of a retired gentleman.

Definitely I love women, I love being around women, I find them incredible and intoxicating, and I've never had that feeling I get with women with a man.

Writing for radio really focuses the mind, because you can't rely on thinking "Oh, just pull a funny face at the end of this sketch." You've got to try to work on the words.

American culture is kind of an international culture, isn't it? British culture is a bit more unique. I think funny things are sort of funny around the world, really.

There's a sort of magic and music to comedy. Some words, some numbers even, are funnier than others. A Caramac bar, for instance, is funnier than a Milky Way.

I think most people that do comedy write for themselves. I don't think there is any other way you can do it, really. Otherwise it would be quite cynical.

Social satire has been around since people have been around.

Adults always ask kids how they are doing at school. The one subject kids absolutely hate talking about. You don't even want to talk about school when you are at school.