If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.

Yes, silence is painful, but if you endure it, you will hear the cadence of the entire universe.

The words you speak reveal the heart you have.

I told him how winning never feels as good as losing feels bad and when he asked why, I told him that my wins were for someone else but my losses were all on me.

It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.

I didn't write any music at all, and then, I remember Jon Anderson being very insistent saying that there were two kinds of musicians: the ones who wrote music and the ones who didn't.

I have four children, and I want them to grow up in a country that has a working First Amendment.

Beauties that from worth arise are like the grace of deities.

I hope that I would put whatever my political beliefs aside, and realize that my country's asked me to to something, and do it.

This [the intelligent design movement] isn't really, and never has been, a debate about science, it's about religion and philosophy.

A true preacher is best measured not by how many bouquets have been pinned on him but by how many brickbats have been pitched at him. Prophets have been on the receiving end of mud more than medals.