I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.

A society is defined as much by how it comes to terms with its past as by its attitude toward the future: its memories are no less revealing than its aims.

To stand in silence when they should be protesting makes cowards of men.

I had always loved expressionist painting, like every European. In fact I admired it all the more because these were precisely the paintings despised by my father's generation.

All science would be superfluous if the outward appearance and the essence of things directly coincided.

The greedy one gathered all the cherries, while the simple one tasted all the cherries in one.

When it is time to part, then it is time to part. There should be no regrets. The beauty of marriage is like the fleeting perfection of a snowflake.

Let the Church always be a place of mercy and hope, where everyone is welcomed, loved and forgiven.

Faith makes all evil good to us, and all good better; unbelief makes all good evil, and all evil worse.

I think I might write a book. I like writing. People have asked me if I would get into politics, but I think I feel a lot more effective being a representative of truth through the arts.

Go to you bosom: Knock there, and ask your heart what it doth know.