If I can't really find a way to live with myself, I can't expect anyone else to live with me.

You have to live before you die, or you'll die before you live.

There is no me. I do not exist. There used to be a me but I had it surgically removed.

Some forms of reality are so horrible we refuse to face them, unless we are trapped into it by comedy. To label any subject unsuitable for comedy is to admit defeat.

It won't be easy, that is why I have always failed where others have succeeded.

I am here to fix the problem with yer pheaun.

Conversation like television set on honeymoon... unnecessary.

To label any subject unsuitable for comedy is to admit defeat.

Finally, in conclusion, let me say just this.

I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working.

François: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was? Clouseau: Yes, the exploding kind.

Ladies, like variegated tulips, show 'Tis to their changes half their charms we owe.

Having a baby, it's like a five year commitment.

Things of today? Deeds which are harvest for Eternity!

I ran my first marathon in Florida in 1985. I had never run more than nine miles.

All the four stages in a man's life are devised by the seers in Hinduism for imposing discipline and self-restraint.

Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit.

There’s nothing left of me. I’m like a ruby held up to the sunrise. Is it still a stone, or a world made of redness? It has no resistance to sunlight.

We need books...because we are all, in the private kingdoms of our hearts, desperate for the company of a wise, true friend.

The choices of one shape the futures of all.

If we don't start, it's certain we can't arrive.