I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Man is always prey to his truths. Once he has admitted them, he cannot free himself from them.

Am I blind?" Will's voice floated out of the darkness, tinged with annoyance. "I'm not going to be at all pleased if you've blinded me, Henry.

Love does not dominate it cultivates.

Having grown up in Bombay, from the day youre born, you have absolute freedom to choose who you want to be.

It's better to be an octopus than a fish. If an octopus loses a tentacle to a predator, the octopus will survive with seven tentacles left for itself.

Our show is about starting over.

We're more popular than Jesus Christ now.

I always knew the Sixties wasn't a revolution. It really was just a bunch of university students with wealthy parents having fun.

There are no impossible obstacles; there are just stronger and weaker wills, that’s all!

I'm fine, and my hips are fine. My false knee is fine. My false hips are fine. Everything's cooking.