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Steven Wright Quotes: I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
         

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.


Steven Wright
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Other quotes of Steven Wright


The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese



You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?



To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.



If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?



I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.



A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.



If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?



The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?



If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?



Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.





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Some say life is the thing, but I prefer reading.

Some say life is the thing, but I prefer reading.




Life flows as a whole, both inside and out, but you divide life with your mind, both inside and outside.

Life flows as a whole, both inside and out, but you divide life with your mind, both inside and outside.



The hand that unnerved Belshazzar derived its most horrifying influence from the want of a body, and death itself is not formidable in what we do know of it, but in what we do not.

The hand that unnerved Belshazzar derived its most horrifying influence from the want of a body, and death itself is not formidable in what we do know of it, but in what we do not.



Modern business must have its finger continuously on the public pulse. It must understand the changes in the public mind and be prepared to interpret itself fairly and eloquently to changing opinion.

Modern business must have its finger continuously on the public pulse. It must understand the changes in the public mind and be prepared to interpret itself fairly and eloquently to changing opinion.



"You could lie to me. You could tell me to be encouraged, that good will triumph over evil.""Good will triumph over evil," said Richard. "Liar."

"You could lie to me. You could tell me to be encouraged, that good will triumph over evil.""Good will triumph over evil," said Richard. "Liar."



Jesus Christ is both the only price and sacrifice by which eternal redemption is obtained for believers.

Jesus Christ is both the only price and sacrifice by which eternal redemption is obtained for believers.



We all know that great leaders can create great successes.

We all know that great leaders can create great successes.



I went to college somewhere between the invention of the iPad and the discovery of fire... but I had gone to a women's college.

I went to college somewhere between the invention of the iPad and the discovery of fire... but I had gone to a women's college.



Uncle Scrooge preferred to let the poor die "and decrease the surplus population." Scrooge may not have had God on his side, but his arithmetic was impeccable.

Uncle Scrooge preferred to let the poor die "and decrease the surplus population." Scrooge may not have had God on his side, but his arithmetic was impeccable.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.". Author of this quote is Steven Wright. This quote is about left, funny, thinking, humor, motivational sports,.