I was the world's ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads... I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said 'Grab the blade!

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Murrow covered something because it needed coverage. He wasn't trying to get an audience just for the sake of it.

Send me money, send me green, and Heaven you will meet. Make your contribution and you'll get a better seat.

I have wanted to sing for as long as I can remember. Literally, since maybe the second grade. I don't think there was one turning point where I said, "This is it".

People in the upper classes can just as easily be indifferent to their own body, or treat themselves as badly, as people who don't have the money. There are always differences among differences.

There's no question raising the minimum wage excessively causes a loss of jobs.

One of the first production deals I signed, the guy wanted my name to be Minaj and I fought him tooth and nail. But he convinced me. I've always hated it.

A really great man is known by three signs: generosity in the design, humanity in the execution, moderation in success.

In foreign countries they fear baldness. They are so rich in foreign countries, they can afford to fear all kinds of silly things.

I have faith in Faith, I have reverence for all true Reverence.

I think the best way is to forget about racing people and just find territory that's fresh.