I was drinking tea the other day, and I thought: they used to fight wars over this.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

Writing is not lying, nor is it theft. It is a journey and search for transparency between one’s words and one’s soul.

Women feel a need for a certain level of prior training and experience that men do not necessarily demand in order to jump into a new role. There's a need for women to trust themselves more...

Pride causes us to use our gifts as though they came from ourselves, not benefits received from God, and to usurp our benefactor's glory.

In Heaven you're going to be the same make, but a new model!

Recently I've been doing risottos. Some of them have been amazing. Some of them, not all of them.

Can I be cocky for a second? If I hit a home run 80 percent of the times, and you want to talk about the 20 times I miss swinging the bat, I’m okay with that.

And I can just see that sometimes the technique is blasting powder rather than steady struggle.

Everything I do is for my people.

Sometimes you go against what they say because you believe in it anyway.