I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him "There now you're done."

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

I am two fools, I know, For loving, and for saying so.

Never be afraid to write what you believe. If the message speaks the truth, others will fear your words for you.

If God only used perfect people, nothing would get done. God will use anybody if you're available.

When you're on your fifth album, you are going to be judged against all your previous work and expectations.

Anxiety and depression are the price you pay for a well-lived life.

I try to please myself. I don't try to anticipate what people want to see.

I had no occasion for an apron on that morning.

Truth is on the side of the oppressed today, it's against the oppressor.

If someone is calling for democracy, he is calling for an end of a dictatorship and if this is the will of the people, this could also mean overthrowing the regime.