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Dane Cook Quotes: I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
         

I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.


Dane Cook
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.



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I'm a late-night guy.



I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.



I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.



Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.



Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.

Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.



When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.



I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.



I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.



Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.





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I am ashamed to be an American. And the title of U.S. soldier is just the lie of fools.

I am ashamed to be an American. And the title of U.S. soldier is just the lie of fools.



You're encouraged to do the same kind of movies. But I would like to keep doing different things.

You're encouraged to do the same kind of movies. But I would like to keep doing different things.



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Feminism loves men enough to expect them to act more honorably and actually believes them capable of doing so.



The only people who think children are carefree are the ones who've forgotten their own childhood.

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Study your subject through half-closed eyes before starting to draw - you'll find that the lights and darks are exaggerated and easier to identify.

Study your subject through half-closed eyes before starting to draw - you'll find that the lights and darks are exaggerated and easier to identify.



I am a big advocate of what is known as net neutrality. This means that providers are compelled to transmit content without political or commercial pre-selection.

I am a big advocate of what is known as net neutrality. This means that providers are compelled to transmit content without political or commercial pre-selection.



Eight days ago, we were the toast of the town. Eight days later we're Thanksgiving turkeys.

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Quote Description


This page presents the quote "I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.". Author of this quote is Dane Cook. This quote is about sound, funny, thinking, ukulele, death,.