I really think everything is fair game.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

I died last night. Seventy years too young.

Love and adventure are life's condiments.

She'd always had a hankering for sitting quietly in dark, confined spaces.

I always had to diet. I'm diabetic, so it's a lifestyle for me anyway just to stay healthy and not end up in the hospital.

Woody Allen is in his '70s and he's making movies, so I look forward to getting there.

O Christmas Sun! What holy task is thine! To fold a world in the embrace of God!

The most rabidly religious people are the most rabidly evil.

Women should know that they don't have to hang on to an old dream that has stopped nurturing them - that there is always time to start a new dream.

A beautiful woman peers out her window, as full of envy as the harridan who peers up at her from the street.

Creep into thy narrow bed, Creep, and let no more be said!