I never met a man I didn't like until I met Will Rogers.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

My life needs editing.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

As long as we know what it's about, then we can have the courage to go wherever we are asked to go, even if we fear that the road may take us through danger and pain.

The reason why I take my life is because I want to go to my wife and boy. My usefulness in this world is at an end. I can not be satisfied in any business and can not be without their companionship.

I don't live for poetry. I live far more than anybody else does.

I couldn't imagine not having clean water.

I went through a normal kind of late teens, early 20s drinking, but it was a choice I made, because I didn’t think it was very good for my life.

As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

He was one of those guys who'd pronounce I'm a hugger as he came at you, neglecting to ask if the feeling was mutual.

There are three things I always forget. Names, faces and... the third I can't remember.

All genuine learning is active, not passive. It involves the use of the mind, not just the memory. It is a process of discovery, in which the student is the main agent, not the teacher.

There's nothin' in life that's worth doin', if it cain't be done from a horse.