My life needs editing.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

You can always count on the New York Times to cut your legs off.

I think that more diversity is a good thing, and fresh points of view articulated by people who are committed to excellence in journalism is a beneficial change in the American media landscape.

Value is that which one acts to gain and/or keep. Virtue is the act by which one aims and/or keeps it.

Michael Jackson is one of the most normal people I know.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

There are literally as many ideas as there are organisms.

It's amazing what one can accomplish when one doesn't know what one can't do.

My parents and grandparents always made me feel fortunate. I'm in a position to help others feel the same. It's just in my heart and is something I feel very very strong about.

I was studying acting in New York, and wasn't being hired by anyone to do anything other than to work in an Oriental rug warehouse.

Particular attention should be given to the opportunities which the environment presents or precludes for involvement of children with persons both older and younger than themselves.