I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Water liked to be free. Given time, water could overcome any barrier, and it hated to be trapped, just like Percy.

An unshared life is not living. He who shares does not lessen but great-ens his life.

I get $13 [a week] now, because I’m 13.

As labor is the common burden of our race, so the effort of some to shift their share of the burden onto the shoulders of others is the great durable curse of the race.

There is no fear. There are only two things. Trained and untrained.

A sense of humor isn't everything. It's only 90 percent of everything.

Another thing all writers have in common is we're all observers. We pay attention to detail.

A coward calls himself cautious, a miser thrifty.

That's what the American odyssey is really about: Leaving home. Leaving home and coming home, and trying to understand the difference.