I'm lucky because I intentionally keep my overhead low, and so I can say, "No, thank you."

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

I wondered if the person who really loves you is the person who knows all your stories, the person who WANTS to know all your stories.

You can all go to heck; I will go to Texas

A shepherd may be a very able, trusty, and good shepherd, without a sweetheart-better, perhaps, than with one. But what is he without his dog?

This is what entertainment is all about- idiots, explosives and falling anvils.

I hate how when I have a bunch of events going on and I have to get my hair done so much, [then] I have to wash it more often. It's definitely better not to.

You have your personal life and you have work life; when it's combined, it's difficult.

I do like characters that have flaws, some sort of pathos to them that they are trying to sort out.

Down the long and silent street, The dawn, with silver-sandaled feet, Crept like a frightened girl.

There is no trusting appearances.

My father loves his country and is ready to lead it. In my fathers gut: integrity.