I'm just an obnoxious guy who can make it appear charming, that's what they pay me to do.

People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.

Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.

Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you've met and you're like, 'Yep, I like this one,' and you just do stuff with them.

I'm a nut, but not just a nut.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

You know how funerals are not for the dead, they’re for the living? Bachelor parties are not for the groom, they’re for the uncommitted.

You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.

Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying.

The secret is to have a sense of yourself, your real self, your unique self. And not just once in a while, or once a day, but all through the day, the week and life.

....because people die but their memories not.

But search the land of living men Where wilt thou find their like again.

Whether planned or not, humor takes our mind off of our troubles.

Men are not revived because they sing; they sing because they are revived.

My health is the No. 1 concern and my longevity is the No. 1 concern.

What I learned as an actor was the only way you could really do August Wilson's work, you had to leave an ounce of your essence on that stage,... Otherwise it was impossible.

I don't have feeling in my feet to my fingertips; I also have active lesions in my bone marrow and in my eyes.

I always wanted to go into acting.

The mobs of great cities add just so much to the support of pure government as sores do to the strength of the human body.

Republicans can't run for office without the support of business.