I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!

Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be.

Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?

Your audience gives you everything you need. They tell you. There is no director who can direct you like an audience.

You think beautiful girls are going to stay in style forever? I should say not! Any minute now they're going to be out! Finished! Then it'll be my turn!

I'm a bad woman, but I'm damn good company.

Love is like a card trick. After you know how it works, it's no fun any more.

Any woman who can’t say a four-letter word sometimes is deceitful.

I never liked the men I loved, and never loved the men I liked.

Without love it is like having a good song without an audience.

Wrong is for other people.

I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.

It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents.

Boldness has power, magic and genius in it.

She thinks petting me is an honor. This is an unexpected position to take for a goddess of slaughter, but I applaud her defiance of convention.

Zamajobe is great. She's a terrific singer from South Africa.

Lying just for the fun of it is either art or pathology.

The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig.

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

Credo quia absurdum – I believe because it is absurd.

If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.