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Kevin Hearne Quotes

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Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Silly dark elves. Earth is for Druids."

Silly dark elves. Earth is for Druids.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "They never predict anything fun," Granuaile answered. "Just once I'd like to hear a prophet tell someone, 'Thou shalt win a bitchin' Camaro on a game show."

They never predict anything fun," Granuaile answered. "Just once I'd like to hear a prophet tell someone, 'Thou shalt win a bitchin' Camaro on a game show.




Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Now go and stake some vamps. Especially the sparkly emo ones."

Now go and stake some vamps. Especially the sparkly emo ones.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out into the snow. Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir."

He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out into the snow. Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir.




Kevin Hearne Quotes: "When in doubt, blame the dark elves."

When in doubt, blame the dark elves.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to say it with a sense of discovery, and it worries me."

People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to say it with a sense of discovery, and it worries me.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "She didn't go all fangirl on anyone, but I suspect that's only because none of them bore the slightest resemblance to Nathan Fillion."

She didn't go all fangirl on anyone, but I suspect that's only because none of them bore the slightest resemblance to Nathan Fillion.




Kevin Hearne Quotes: "I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the first night home from the hospital"

I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the first night home from the hospital



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise."

Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts."

When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "I had privately changed 'This, too, shall pass' into 'You, too, shall die'."

I had privately changed 'This, too, shall pass' into 'You, too, shall die'.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Yer a good lad, Atticus, mowin’ me lawn and killin’ what Brits come around."

Yer a good lad, Atticus, mowin’ me lawn and killin’ what Brits come around.




Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Granuaile:"So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood?" Atticus:" Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice."

Granuaile:"So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood?" Atticus:" Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Bullshit, as you Americans say. He's Irish. The Irish say bullshit too."

Bullshit, as you Americans say. He's Irish. The Irish say bullshit too.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "What do you know? She liked to be told she was scary. Kinky."

What do you know? She liked to be told she was scary. Kinky.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it."

Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Winning ugly is still winning."

Winning ugly is still winning.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Atticus "What's this religion going to be called?" Oberon "Poochism" A:"and the name of this holy writ I will be typing for you?" O:"The dead flea scrolls: A Sirius Prophecy."

Atticus "What's this religion going to be called?" Oberon "Poochism" A:"and the name of this holy writ I will be typing for you?" O:"The dead flea scrolls: A Sirius Prophecy.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "She thinks petting me is an honor. This is an unexpected position to take for a goddess of slaughter, but I applaud her defiance of convention."

She thinks petting me is an honor. This is an unexpected position to take for a goddess of slaughter, but I applaud her defiance of convention.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes."

I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "The tendency of modern American women to exclaim 'Hiiiiiiiiiiii!' in soprano octaves and hug each other upon sight can be disconcerting to those unfamiliar with it."

The tendency of modern American women to exclaim 'Hiiiiiiiiiiii!' in soprano octaves and hug each other upon sight can be disconcerting to those unfamiliar with it.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "She switched from ecstasy to embarrassment at about Mach five."

She switched from ecstasy to embarrassment at about Mach five.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Lie down and offer your throat. No, wait, that's how dogs submit. I know! Offer her you're wallet!" Oberon"

Lie down and offer your throat. No, wait, that's how dogs submit. I know! Offer her you're wallet!" Oberon



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first?"

You don't need to say any special incantation or sacrifice a stray cat or something first?



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently."

I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone."

He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Am I not a fearsome enemy?" "You frighten me primally."

Am I not a fearsome enemy?" "You frighten me primally.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "If I waved that in front of a museum curator, he'd promptly lose control of his salivary glands."

If I waved that in front of a museum curator, he'd promptly lose control of his salivary glands.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Peace be with you," I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and asskicking be with me."

Peace be with you," I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and asskicking be with me.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Tell her I am Peace Dawg but I think her cats are closely allied with The Man. I'm going to stick it to them."

Tell her I am Peace Dawg but I think her cats are closely allied with The Man. I'm going to stick it to them.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Druid log July 15: Dark elves are not only quick and efficient killers, but creative and pyrotechnically inclined ones."

Druid log July 15: Dark elves are not only quick and efficient killers, but creative and pyrotechnically inclined ones.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Yes and I appreciate it. But this is going to be difficult enough without running my words through a filter of illiteracy."

Yes and I appreciate it. But this is going to be difficult enough without running my words through a filter of illiteracy.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "You are telling me that your lawyer is a bloodsucking vampire?"

You are telling me that your lawyer is a bloodsucking vampire?



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Wow you need to get some sun.” “Shut up. I'm Irish."

Wow you need to get some sun.” “Shut up. I'm Irish.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Ye know what me Sean used to say, God rest his soul? He said, 'A friend will help ye move, Katie, but a really good friend will help ye move a body."

Ye know what me Sean used to say, God rest his soul? He said, 'A friend will help ye move, Katie, but a really good friend will help ye move a body.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "The royal hound's belly demands rubbing. Step lively, humans, neglect me not." ~Oberon"

The royal hound's belly demands rubbing. Step lively, humans, neglect me not." ~Oberon



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Poison?" she (Granuaile)said,"I hope it isn't iocane powder."

Poison?" she (Granuaile)said,"I hope it isn't iocane powder.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the first time."

As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the first time.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "But now that she was my apprentice, every such thought caused a guilty twitch in my neck, as if someone had dropped a sleek, stinky ferret there. Guilt ferrets are bastards."

But now that she was my apprentice, every such thought caused a guilty twitch in my neck, as if someone had dropped a sleek, stinky ferret there. Guilt ferrets are bastards.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "The point is, Mrs. MacDonagh, that the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely small worlds, and some live in a world of infinite possibility."

The point is, Mrs. MacDonagh, that the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely small worlds, and some live in a world of infinite possibility.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it."

Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "I had my own dump truck of bad karma waiting for me somewhere ahwad. I had certainly earned it, but I raced to avoid it if I could; there was no way I wanted to fell that."

I had my own dump truck of bad karma waiting for me somewhere ahwad. I had certainly earned it, but I raced to avoid it if I could; there was no way I wanted to fell that.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "its difficult to dislike a man who takes pleasure in giving away free beer."

its difficult to dislike a man who takes pleasure in giving away free beer.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this."

They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history. Atticus O'Sullivan"

Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history. Atticus O'Sullivan



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Bring it,muthafuckas.Bring it."

Bring it,muthafuckas.Bring it.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Mr. Tall, Blonde and Lightning"

Mr. Tall, Blonde and Lightning



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous."

That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous.



Kevin Hearne Quotes: "Well o' course she's feelin' dandy! She's the mother o' God for the love o' Pete!"

Well o' course she's feelin' dandy! She's the mother o' God for the love o' Pete!