Ricky Gervais Quotes

The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.

I've never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: Don't sit on a wall, if you're an egg.

The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.

Famous people are above the law.

Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It's all we've got.

It's better to create something that others criticise than to create nothing and criticise others. Go create, have fun!!

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.

Telling someone with depression to pull themselves together is about as useful as telling someone with cancer to just stop having cancer

Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Unlike religious people, I look at all religions equally.

Suggesting I hate people with religion because I hate religion is like suggesting I hate people with cancer because I hate cancer.

We shouldn't even need the word 'atheism'. If people didn't invent ridiculous imaginary gods, rational people wouldn't have to deny them.

Be happy. It really annoys negative people.

You are the result of billions of years of evolution. You will only live for a few years and will never exist again. Absolutely beautiful

The grass isn't always greener on the other side!

Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.

Wearing cosmetics that were tested on animals makes you ugly on the inside

It’s a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It’s the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for.

I've never been insulted by hateful satanists for not believing in their devil. Only by loving Christians for not believing in their God.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if you believe in god, you're wrong.

If there is a God, why did he make me an atheist?

Animals are not here for us to do as we please with. We are not their superiors, we are their equals. We are their family. Be kind to them.

I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.

Opinions don't affect facts. But facts should affect opinions, and do, if you're rational

Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.

Blasphemy: a law to protect an all-powerful, supernatural deity from getting its feelings hurt.

Your God is the best God. In fact, he's the only God. All other Gods are ridiculous, made up rubbish. Not yours though. Yours is real.

Being on the edge isn't as safe, but the view is better

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

Where there's a will - there's a relative!

Got a proper job at 28. Gave it up to try comedy at 38. Decided to get fit and healthy at 48. It's never too late. But do it now

Everyday life is interesting enough, whether it be in an office or being ignored on the set of something supposedly more glamorous.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

Take a picture not a trophy This is how real men shoot animals

It's going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking. Or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.

You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

The simple fact is, offense is taken, not given.

Some [people] are really smart. You know who you are. Some [people] are really thick. Unfortunately, you don't know who you are.

Remember, no one can hurt your feelings without your permission

I feel that a lot of British comedy is often too bombastic, too obvious, dressing up and shouting and pulling funny faces.

What will it feel like after you die? Exactly the same as it felt for those billions of years before you were born.

You want to see the people you've sort of come to know and love, or love to hate, you want to see them develop in some way. And I hope people get sort of caught up in that arc.

America champions the underdog. We champion the underdog until he's not the underdog anymore, and he annoys us.

Growing up, the most important thing, after taking care of your family and getting a decent job of work, was having a laugh. That was the point to life.

Body language is more powerful than words.

If you can't joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what's the point of jokes? What's the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things.

I've never done anything for the common consensus. I do things to please me. If you are happy with something yourself, you become bulletproof.