I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

I was one of the first veejays to take the camera out on location, and that's what was unique about MTV at that time.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

I'm not used to getting good reviews.

When you're a kid, all you really care about are Slurpees and Slip N Slide and riding your bike, and that's what I did.

Miracles were just second chances if you really thought about it--second chances when all hope was lost.

Memories are fragile

Like the 'good' characters in literature, the sane don't have any memorable lines.

I see so many ways America uses to rob Negroes and it is sinful and America can't keep holding on, and doing these things.

I've been saying for years that page view-based advertising is a corrupting force.

One should take good care not to grow too wise for so great a pleasure of life as laughter.

Malcolm X finally became the person he was meant and raised to be. He fought against the forces of racism to return to that. Malcolm wanted to inspire other people to find their own strength.

The first time you hear the word "Daddy," I don't care who you are, your heart just melts.

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?

Hitler was undoubtedly a genius but he lacked self-control. He recognized no limits. Otherwise the thousand-year Reich would have lasted more than twelve years.