Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

I was one of the first veejays to take the camera out on location, and that's what was unique about MTV at that time.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

Serious and intense people, they drain you. But someone who's an idiot, like myself, they're fun. You either hate me or you love me.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

I want to do an 'Extreme Makeover' show. You know that MTV show 'I Want To Have A Famous Face'? Well, I want to do a new show. I want to have a different famous face.

My mom is two people to me. She's my mom number one, and then she's this lady most comedians know as being a legendary owner of a nightclub that's responsible for starting a lot of heavy careers.

I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

I'm not used to getting good reviews.

When you're a kid, all you really care about are Slurpees and Slip N Slide and riding your bike, and that's what I did.

...political realism is the way forward for any system that is genuinely for humanity or for the interest and advancement of the people of this world.

Love is the perception of individuals. Love is the extremely difficult realisation that something other than oneself is real.

I definitely tell things at arm's length but that is conscious. No part of me wants everybody to know what's going on.

She loves you. She's just forgotten how to show it.

I really wanted to be an opera soprano.

In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for.

Even vegetables have feelings in our world.

Without exception, empathy is always appropriate.

We have to cover everything with the Lord himself, not a false sort of optimism, not by blinding our eyes to the evil, but by really seeing God in everything.

The most important thing in my life is Christ. He’s more important to me than winning or losing or whether I’m playing or not. Everything else is just a bonus.