I don't think there are any new media I'd like to cover.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

You can radically alter the worth of your life when you develop inner voices that serve and support your true purpose.

Of course, some families cannot be saved and their children cannot be returned. Yet, even then, their love for each other must be worth something.

Doing something wrong repeatedly does not make it right.

Pritchard was lonely, and like most lonely souls, he saw happy couples everywhere.

Anyone who craves an afterlife has not lived their life to the fullest.

Make sure you cut the grass low so the snakes show

If some appalling disaster befalls, there's Always a way for the rich.

All of a sudden it hit me - if there was such a thing as composing music, there could be such a thing as composing motion. After all, there are melodic figures, why can't there be figures of motion?

Balance isn't either/or; it's 'and'.