I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

The only reason people die, is because EVERYONE does it. You all just go along with it.It's RUBBISH, death. It's STUPID. I don't want nothing to do with it.

It all depends on you. If you want it to be different,it will be different. Don't look at the world with your eyes but with your heart.

If the world is meaningless, then so are we; if we mean something, we do not mean alone.

In the morning it was morning and I was still alive.

Some critics will say Coca-Cola made a marketing mistake. Some cynics will say that we planned the whole thing. The truth is we are not that dumb, and we are not that smart.

God who sends the wound sends the medicine.

I don't want to be a tree; I want to be its meaning.

I wouldn't be a very good writer if someone hadn't taught me how to read.

Even when I started in 1970, I knew that television was having a negative effect on our society.

Colin stared at the officer. “Thorne, you scare me. I’m not ashamed to say it.