I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

Skill without passion would have been drudgery. Passion without skill would have been torture.

If you must speak ill of another, do not speak it, write it in the sand near the water's edge.

Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

As someone who grew up in tough circumstances, I know that being on public assistance is not a spot that anyone wants to be in.

A critic is a soldier that fires on his own men.

The impromptu reply is precisely the touchstone of the man of wit.

There's nothing unique about me as a parent. I am a parent. My kids are kids. We do the best we can do.

We are continually experiencing the conditioning to hold on, tighten, or resist.

I'm a horrible golfer.

Do not put all your eggs in one basket.