I am always shocked that there are still a handful of defenders of the dubious practice of abstinence, surely the worst idea since chocolate-covered ants.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

The windows of the houses - even if the house is ramshackle - are always beautiful because windows represent light!

Heroes don’t have the need to be known as heroes, they just do what heroes do because it is right and it must be done.

Have you ever been at a point that you don't know what to say? But yet you came up with this crazy idea to type this.

The world, like a dream full of attachments and aversions seems real until the awakening.

I'm not scared about saying what I think.

The story being told in Star Wars is a classic one. Every few hundred years, the story is retold because we have a tendency to do the same things over and over again.

I love looking out at 27 semis and being like, every single one of those semi trucks is there to put together my stage.

We should end the Environmental Protection Agency's war against American oil and gas.

Many of the best traps are simple. You just have to think about it, and hope your victim doesn't.

I don't think people want to see me as a regular guy. Besides, I'm a regular guy in real life. I guess I just want to be reckless in my work.