How do you know they're growing up? Well, the bite marks are higher.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

We must thank to all the failed people in the history as they showed us the true way to success!

The sooner you finish procrastinating, the sooner you can get back to your art.

I gladly sacrifice pear-shaped tones in favor of down-to-earth emotion.

Early summer days are a jubilee time for birds. In the fields, around the house, in the barn, in the woods, in the swamp - everywhere love and songs and nests and eggs.

Never, never have a famous partner. It's too complicated.

I have always said that often the religion you were born with becomes more important to you as you see the universality of truth.

People need to remember we are the governing party because we have diversity of opinion in our party. We're not pure. We have moderates and we have more progressives.

Lord, I do fear Thou'st made the world too beautiful this year My soul is all but out of me-let fall No burning leaf; prithee, let no bird call.

I feel lucky, happy and philosophical about it all.

The historical weight of gender inequality has tended to concentrate women in lower-paid jobs with fewer benefits and at the same time made them primarily responsible for care giving.