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Johnny Carson Quotes: He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
         

He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.


Johnny Carson
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Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.



When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.

When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.



Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.



Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'



Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.



Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.



Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.



Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.



Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.



If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.





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One must plan for the future and anticipate the future without fearing the future.

One must plan for the future and anticipate the future without fearing the future.



Lucy had no complaints about her dinner. Anything was fine with her as long as she didn’t have to cook it.

Lucy had no complaints about her dinner. Anything was fine with her as long as she didn’t have to cook it.



Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you're worthy of the trip.

Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you're worthy of the trip.



On wedding day you should look like yourself at your most beautiful

On wedding day you should look like yourself at your most beautiful



In law a man is guilty when he violates the rights of others. In ethics he is guilty if he only thinks of doing so.

In law a man is guilty when he violates the rights of others. In ethics he is guilty if he only thinks of doing so.



I don't mean to change the subject or anything, but have you tried concealer on that zit?" Cynthia Lotte - Hot Six

I don't mean to change the subject or anything, but have you tried concealer on that zit?" Cynthia Lotte - Hot Six



I don't really get nervous, ever. I just have a good time.

I don't really get nervous, ever. I just have a good time.



I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.

I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament.



The heavens and earth stay as they were; my heart Beats as it beat: the truth remains the truth.

The heavens and earth stay as they were; my heart Beats as it beat: the truth remains the truth.



Most of us have to think worst-case scenario.

Most of us have to think worst-case scenario.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.". Author of this quote is Johnny Carson. This quote is about sarcastic, running, obesity,.