Fame - anyone who says he doesn't like it is crazy

The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

For me, a hearty "belly laugh" is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.

There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he's a college professor!

Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert's writing was hazy, Ep's statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.

Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

Any change even a change for the better is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.

I'm proof against that word failure. I've seen behind it. The only failure a man ought to fear is failure of cleaving to the purpose he sees to be best.

The patience of the American public with dilatory diplomatic delays will be very limited.

A word to the wise is -- unnecessary.

Prohibiting a visible religious sign, which isn't a manifestation of militancy, would look like a fight against religions.

Never was patriot yet, but was a fool.

The most important thing, the thing that unites all of us, is that we can INSPIRE and CHALLENGE one another TO BE BETTER.

For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And along the way, lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you.

Actually, your past successes are your biggest obstacle: every battle, every war, is different, and you cannot assume that what worked before will work today.

The petitioner's problem is to avoid Scylla without being drawn into Charybdis.