Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

For me, a hearty "belly laugh" is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.

There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he's a college professor!

In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert's writing was hazy, Ep's statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.

Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.

The awakening process is not about 'finding who you are' but more about finding out about the ego, about who you are not.

We used to languish when we walked, or sidle down the street like dogs that have just done something wrong. Now Rube walks upright, because he's on the attack.

You're not what I expected in a pirate."He laughed, curtly. "You're not what I expected in a princess.

Gwydion stood as a wolf at bay, his green eyes glittering, his teeth bared.

Though, if you think about it, hostile, dethroned pseudodeities probably make disagreeable neighbors. You'll have to figure out something to do with him.

We're gonna play some pool, skip some school, act real cool, stay out all night, it's gonna be alright.

everything happens to an artist; time is always redeemed, nothing is lost and wonders never cease.

I called to buy some meth, but I threw it away.

I felt no passion, no jealousy, no nostalgia. I was hollow, clear-headed, clean, and as emotionless as an aluminum pot.

We must pass a national energy policy to continue our successes in the War on Terrorism.