In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert's writing was hazy, Ep's statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.

The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

For me, a hearty "belly laugh" is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.

There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he's a college professor!

Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.

Better than chocolate, being with you last night. Silly me, I thought that nothing was better than chocolate.

Don't wait for better Investment options, Invest and then wait for better time.

Because deep down you know that someone needs to keep you out of trouble.

Then come here, " he said, a bit redundantly, as he had already pulled her with him into an armchair and curled her up in his arms. "Tell me what I can do to help you feel be

Bargaining has neither friends nor relations.

It's my job to get us in good plays, or more importantly, out of bad plays.

I'm down with the whole patron thing. Bring back the Medicis. Maybe, I'm not just a lefty, but a royalist.

I was about 12 when I heard my first Lenny Bruce record. He was already dead. But it changed my life and really did change the world.

How does Galdoila know about the reward?" i asked. "He reads the signs," Grover said. "Duh." "Of course," I said. "Silly me.

It is better to live poorly upon the fruits of God's goodness than live plentifully upon the products of our own sin.