The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.

The person who can bring the spirit of laughter into a room is indeed blessed.

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

For me, a hearty "belly laugh" is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

Gross ignorance is 144 times worse than ordinary ignorance.

There once was a student named Bessor Whose knowledge grew lessor and lessor. It at last grew so small He knew nothing at all, And today he's a college professor!

Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

In a notable family called Stein There were Gertrude, and Ep, and then Ein. Gert's writing was hazy, Ep's statues were crazy, And nobody understood Ein.

Football season: The only time of the year when a man can walk down the street with a blond on one arm and a blanket on the other without encountering raised eyebrows.

Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.

Integrity is a powerful force, keeping you alive to others long after you’ve left their presence.

Few love to hear the sins they love to act.

Firing is always difficult. The right way: one-on-one. The wrong way: snickering in front of other people, or via email.

I really like the concept of, like, slowing down and savoring your food, enjoying it.

I know what it feels like to be an outsider.

The very thing you fear could be the best thing to ever happen to you

Philanthropy is an important subject of liberal education because it examines the role of good works in shaping our conceptions of the good society and the good life.

Records used to be documents, but now record companies want product.

In my death, people will understand what I was talking about.

How can you think and hit at the same time?