Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

Be a gift, a light, a blessing as far as the eye can see to answer a call as well as a genuine, compassionate heart can reach.

If I am right, Thy grace impart Still in the right to stay; If I am wrong, O, teach my heart To find that better way!

My kids are the most important people in the world to me.

Man should tremble, the world should vibrate, all heaven should be deeply moved when the Son of God appears on the altar in the hands of the priest.

Love is a brilliant illustration of a principle everywhere discoverable: namely, that human reason lives by turning the friction of material forces into the light of ideal goods.

Be bold, but be fair. Don't give in. If others around you have integrity, too, you can prevail

Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies

I loved the idea that I could write a joke and someone else would have to take the risk of performing it.

When you're up for an award at the Oscars, try as you might, it's hard to concentrate on the show.

When I run on stage now, a thousand people don't even see you, they're in their phone.