Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn't ailing.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

Read the great books, gentlemen, ” Mr. Monte said one day. “Just the great ones. Ignore the others. There’s not enough time.

When your enemy is tough make your actions rough, you will meet at the same point.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Instead, it just reminded her that sometimes there were no good choices.

(All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadness)

I've never been more nervous in my life than singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl.

Rome is stately and impressive; Florence is all beauty and enchantment; Genoa is picturesque; Venice is a dream city; but Naples is simply -- fascinating.

I have people come onstage and ask me questions and I get to meet them. That's one of the reasons I like it. When you're performing, when you're doing your movies, they're not there with you.

Thou art god, I am god. All that groks is god.

An intensive human rights education for all communities needs to be provided to overcome the old prejudices.