Donald Trump announced that he is not running for president. He would rather spend his time making Gary Busey sell Snapple on the street.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

A willingness to let go of an old self and allow creative thoughts to remake a person into a better version of oneself requires an act of courage.

Some people like danger and adventure, some like to be free of civilization, and some like to live by their wits. It was those special people who headed west.

A child comes in your Life to correct your Karma, learn instead of putting your Karma on the child!

There is an obsession in the Church with sin management. People think more about their sins than about their redemption through Jesus

Your thoughts, vividly imagined and repeated, charged with emotion, become your reality.

You Can Trust. Yes, but Try to remember even Demons had their wings.

A leech that will not quit the skin until sated with blood.

I was raised in church by Christian parents and I was baptized when I was 11 years old. But I didn't really have a good understanding of what the Gospel was really all about until college.

Garlic is as good as ten mothers.

The trade of governing has always been monopolized by the most ignorant and the most rascally individuals of mankind.