Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.

If you tell the truth, then you don't have to have a good memory

Your son went into your kitchen and took a kitchen knife.

Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

The time to change was yesterday; the time to wake up is now.

"Beauty fades," my father would tell me, "but dumb? Dumb is forever."

Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work, and it annoys the pig.

If you are trying to balance the scales of justice and equality in all your work relationships, you're going to come up short.

I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.

I couldn't give a rat's tutu about your emotional distress

Don't make a cemetery of your life by burying your talents.

Don't go looking for boys in the darkThey will say pretty things thenleave you with scars.Do go looking for boys in the parkFor that is where the true gentlemen are.

Slavery all day, and then, suddenly, by nightfall- freedom!

The group of people in front of her was jovial and paid her no attention. The group behind was much the same. She was alone without being alone.

The only thing harder than leaving show business is coming back.

Science investigates religion interprets. Science gives man knowledge which is power religion gives man wisdom which is control.

The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.

Who I am is what fulfills me and fulfills the vision I have of the world.

I was in Deadwood at the time and on hearing of the killing made my way at once to the scene of the shooting and found that my friend had been killed by McCall.

After being at the top, I don't think I could play senior tournaments, because you know how good you were. I don't know if I would enjoy that, being half of what I was.

Busy people tend to forgo the one activity - TV watching _ that is most lethal to community involvement