Don't judge me. I made a lot of money.

Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.

Kids do have to learn that life is a humiliating charade of endless disappointment and tragedy ultimately culminating in pain, decay, and death. My parents used to sing me to sleep with that one.

I'm capable of living in the moment. And I'm especially capable of living in the moment of sitting on my sofa and watching other people's moments.

I dislike Ted Cruz as much as the next everyone. But that's no reason to be rude to Ted's loving wife and possible hostage.

There's a danger zone if you take yourself too seriously. It's a terrible trap to fall into. I think it's the death of comedy.

It's like you can't even go on the radio anymore and condemn a whole subset of people to hell without getting some blowback.

I continue to be very shy. I think a lot of actors and performers are really weird, shy people working it out onstage. I don't know why that is.

You don't want to be glib; you want to treat every story respectfully.

I grew up an only child, so I was so much more adult. My eldest daughter is 10, and I was so much more of an adult than she is. She just doesn't care for the real world. She's not interested.

You have to be willing to ask questions that almost no one else would ask.

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

He used both hands when he made the bear. Imagine a bear proceeding from the hands of God.

If you were born poor, it's not your fault. But if you die poor it is.

The trumpet does not more stun you by its loudness, than a whisper teases you by its provoking inaudibility.

There are faults we would fain pardon.

Meg, when people don't know who they are, they are open either to being Xed, or Named

We think we are experiencing reality but what we are really experiencing is our thinking.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

If there is a single power the West underestimates, it is the power of collective hatred.

It's not always easy to tell the difference between thinking and looking out of the window.