Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run from there.

Every day is a new opportunity to earn the lost values, but not for an apathetic.

There is always a secret irritation about a laugh in which we cannot join

Brave deeds are wasted when hidden.

People who know a lot of the same things can hardly help talking about them.

There must be some wisdom in the folk saying: Its the strong swimmers who drown.

I don't take modern hip-hop as real. It's entertaining, it's fake, like James Bond.

All I ever wanted to do was hear music that I like and play it to other people

There is nowhere in the four Gospels where Jesus uses the word 'homosexual.'

Numbers are the highest degree of knowledge. It is knowledge itself.