Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

The greatest tragedy to ever happen to a nation is not the incidences of war or terrorism. It's when more bookshops close down and more drinking bars are opened to replace them!

It's the people who seem weak who are always suprisingly strong, and the ones who seem strong who are unexpectledly weak.

I know how long it took me to lose my weight, and people have got to understand it?s not always easy. If all this can help one child, we are doing our job.

There's no such thing as the United Nations.

I'm not a huge fan of improv theater or improv sports or whatever, because it still just looks like a tool. It looks like a technique to me.

I expect that Trump believes we do not have an obligation to have a Cold War with Russia, but that he is very cautious.

People who say not to speak ill of the dead are hypocrites, because you can take it ot the bank they're thinking ill.

Scientists would rather change facts than their theories.

When one practices discipline and moves from the beginner's territory to immovable wisdom, one makes a return and falls back to the level of the beginner.

The remedy [for the Great Depression] is to give the workers access to the means of production, and let them produce for themselves, not for others, . . . the American way.