All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep and still be counted as warriors.

because we all know that the books we’ve loved best are seldom the ones we esteem the most highly

As far as advice to potential teenage idols, there is no formula.

What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?

People have committed suicide because of their failure to realize the passions for love , power , fame , revenge . Cases of suicide because of a lack of sexual satisfaction are virtually nonexistent.

Different fragrances promote different emotions, and I find that fragrance gets me in the frame of mind for that person.

The worst part a man can suffer is to have insight into much and power over nothing.

Too many of the organizations I have observed resemble a farm in Kansas. They have lots of fences and silos as well as a storm cellar.

The work needs to have a certain longevity. It lasts longer than we do.

I'm not big on Champagne, but I'd take along a bottle of Cristal to pop for when the boat comes to the rescue.