Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

The winds of fortune tend to favour the sails of those who politely yell out to it, 'Nice to meet you!

We'll see Heaven together. I promise with all my heart I'll never leave you alone.

Inspiration arrives as a packet of material to be delivered.

I have forgotten my rave reviews and memorized my vicious ones - like most writers.

I think of New York City lost in stars forgotten as a blue haired pet of childhood love Tonight the night is full.

I'll never let you see, the way my broken heart is hurting me, I've got my pride and know how to hide all my sorrow and pain, I'll do my crying in the rain.

That propaganda is good which leads to success, and that is bad which fails to achieve the desired result. It is not propaganda’s task to be intelligent, its task is to lead to success.

On a good night, I get underwear, bras, and hotel-room keys thrown onstage... You start to think that you're Tom Jones.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

A rule that cannot be bent will certainly be broken.