Buying something on sale is a very special feeling. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Your commitment to your happiness and well-being serves our entire world in powerful ways. Stay committed.You change our world for the better by changing your world for the better.

If I keep loving you, maybe you'll crack and love me too.

Oprah's quitting in 2011. Now we know why the Mayans ended their calendar in 2012

It is very easy to say that the important thing is to try your best, but if you are in real trouble the most important thing is not trying your best, but getting to safety.

Faith means believing the unbelievable.

If life transcends death, then I will seek for you there. If not, then there too.

I begin by considering an effect.

Companies operating in urban communities have a tremendous ripple effect.

yesterday someone sent a message that was signed GOD! bernard said. really? dap said. i didn't know he was signed onto the system

Nothing is secret once you tell anyone. If you want to keep it quiet - don't tell a soul.