But down in Florida in the early voting, there were computer glitches, confusing ballots, long lines and chaos. And when President Bush heard about this, he said, 'Mission accomplished!'

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Too bad Jason wasn’t a metal automaton. At least then Leo would have some idea of how to help his best friend. But with humans … Leo felt helpless. They broke way too easily.

I had no Freedom. I had nothing.

I mean, it is the perfect situation to really love someone to death and to want to rip their clothes off at the same time, isn't it?

The key to beating the Dodgers is to keep them form hugging each other too much.

As a writer, I haven't delved into dramatic writing. As an actor, I could always, even more so than comedy, do drama.

A question may be asked, 'Will mothers have their children in eternity?' Yes! Yes! Mothers, you shall have your children.

The importance of humility. We need the humility to know that truth can be ephemeral, that this can be but one version of the truth.

We cannot walk alone.

CAIR officials or former officials have been arrested on charges related to terrorism yet all it offers is silence and stonewalling in discussing what are its real motives.

Allah's plan is better than your dreams.