Black people drink lots of beer. However, you won't see us skiing down a mountain for one, or see us diving for Frisbees on concrete for one.

This whole urban rap thing needs to be pulled back some. The ghetto is being glorified, and there's nothing good about the ghetto except getting out of one.

Originality is never embraced as quickly as the commonplace.

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

Don't try to give a funny opinion; give your opinion in a way that will be funny.

Bombing teaches you how badly you want to become a comedian. Because unless it's a burning desire, you'll quit when the consistent bombing becomes too much to take.

If I'm crisp and economical in my delivery, have smooth transitions, movement and animation, and flights of fancy, that would get me an A.

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

You can't wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join in before you go on to the next one.

I advise treating the studio audience like a nightclub audience because that's the reason you're doing television - to get them to come see you in a nightclub.

Obviously the audience has veto power signified by whether they laugh or not, but you-not them-retain the ultimate power to decide what they're going to get the opportunity to laugh at.

In your travel, learn the brief history of the place visited. History is rich knowledge.

A choir of angels glorified the hour, the vault of heaven was dissolved in fire. "Father, why hast Thou forsaken me? Mother, I beg you, do not weep for me.

I'm not clumsy; just accident prone.

I don't train to look good in the mirror. I train to make improvements in my game.

Cuz this is what happens when bad meets evil We hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people

Faith is like porridge. Better with milk and honey.

Cursing herself, she said, "I'm going to man up here. I'm going to so be twenty-one. You're not going to believe how tight in the head I'm going to be. Really. For real.

It's nice to have someone write a couture character for you.

The healing of our relationship with place begins with the preservation of the natural environment. We cannot go to the wild for renewal if no wilderness is left.

I like to quote things.