Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered a role in a sequel to 'The Terminator.' In this one he travels back in time and kills the person who suggested he run for governor.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

Life is how you brew it. Wake up, you have a story to tell. Don't chase vain glory, your story will tell it. You owe it to yourself to write the lines of your story in the ink of purpose!

There seems to be a peculiar and particular tie between men who have been drunk together.

The sky is full of tokens which speak to the intelligent.

Three years into the war, tens of thousands of American troops remain targets of a growing Iraqi insurgency.

One's need for loneliness is not satisfied if one sits at a table alone. There must be empty chairs as well.

We're all under the same sky and walk the same earth; we're alive together during the same moment.

It won't be easy, that is why I have always failed where others have succeeded.

If a man does not know to what port he is steering, no wind is favorable to him. Ignoranti quem portum petat, nullus suus ventus est.

I think that's important to women in comedy, that we get a lot of the good lines and you're not just the girlfriend or the sister.

Be cool to the pizza dude.